Over the last, let’s say, two months (because the real time-span is horrifically shorter than this and may be the sole accountable reason for my pallid complexion and drastic weight-gain) I have been re-watching the entire six seasons of Lost. Now, that TV series may be largely complete crap, but it has got me thinking.
A decade ago, back in the early naughties when the most sophisticated must-have piece of technology was the Nokia 3310, we would have probably been absolutely fine about crashing onto a time-travelling desert island with polar bears.
Now, well… Let’s just say most of us have some sort of minor cardiac arrest when our iPhone 4S drains its battery when we’re not near a power socket, let alone when your iPad overheats and you can’t get through to outsourcing IT services!
Stick us on a desert island with no technology? Forget Wilson the volleyball, in an hour we’d be attempting to tweet using a strip of palm leaf.
For this reason, I have put together the ultimate desert island survival pack for those of us that can’t go an hour without checking Facebook. Here is what you need…
No power socket? No problem. If there’s one thing a desert island has a lot of, it’s sun, and through the magic of solar power you can keep playing Angry Birds on your iPad until you’re rescued… or you die of dehydration.
3G Signal Booster
Just in case there’s civilisation nearby, bring one of these antennas along and you can tweet about how horrendous it is being stuck with a group of losers in the middle of nowhere. Or, y’know, you could call for help. #Justsaying
Lifeproof IPhone Case
Desert islands are dangerous places, and we all know how iPhones break easily (naughty Apple). Pop this case on, and know that even if you don’t survive an attack from that weird smoke-monster alarm system thingy, your iPhone certainly will.
Firesteel Fire Starter
Proof that technology is better than evolution; while all those other idiots are fooling around with flint and rubbing two sticks together, you’ll have a campfire blazing faster than Chuck Norris could. Fact.
(Disclaimer: Not actual fact, and I would not ever recommend challenging Chuck Norris to a fire-starting competition. You’d get burned.)
What else would be in your desert island survival pack?
About the author: James Duval is a tech geek and blogger for ArcIT. He has been known to make a two hour diversion back home, just because he forgot his IPhone when leaving for work.
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