There’s a not-so-old saying that says, “to err is human, but to really foul things up, you need a computer”. Whether they’re turning off right before you save that really important document, freezing when you’ve finally broken your writer’s block, or deciding to show you “the blue screen of death” and die once and for all, technology is and always has been troublesome. If you’re fuming at your laptop enough to throw it at a wall, read these quotes about human advances and remember – they’re not all they’re cracked up to be!
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. – Wendy Liebman
Who needs a fancy new television when you have a wife to tell you that you absolutely do not need one? Wendy Liebman showed her husband what’s what by providing him with a whole new perspective on The Box – a closer one.
We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. – Robert Wilensky
Robert Wilensky is not a famous comedian or actor. Instead, he’s a computer science expert whose research focused on natural language processing and artificial intelligence. Despite his long career in the field, Professor Wilensky prided himself on being the author of this quote that has circled the earth a million times over. Wilensky passed away just recently, but his work – and his wit – live on.
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. – Steven Wright
Comedian Steven Wright always had a way to get the point across, and to do so in a hilariously dry manner. His droll and cynical way of speaking landed him in roles in cult classic movie Half Baked, as well as Loser and Mixed Nuts. He’s always good for a laugh, and by poking fun at the cars we drive, he’s always good for a bit of perspective on the technology we use too.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” – Elayne Boosler
Comedienne Elayne Boosler doesn’t need fancy new technology in her house – all she needs is a group of seemingly endless locks for the hapless burglar to pick!
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snow blower and vacuum cleaner. – Ben Bergor
The wonders of having technology around the house are amazing – no longer do we have to do mundane tasks manually; we have machines for that! Unfortunately, kids seem to conveniently forget how to use these machines when they want something!
My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. – Caroline Rhea
Caroline Rhea was known as the host of The Biggest Loser, but that doesn’t stop her from professing her love for the greatest piece of food-related technology – the vending machine. A few funny quotes about life are sometimes all we need to get through the day. They help us keep a smile on our faces and stop us from seeing red whenever technology decides it doesn’t want to play along. Hopefully these funnies have cheered you up somewhat and stopped you from disposing of your laptop from a great height!
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